He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
