I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
