just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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