just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
