i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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