Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
