I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
