Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
