i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize