I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize