Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
