No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If I die, sorry about rent.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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