I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
