Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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