shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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