i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
