but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I didn't notice because vodka
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
