i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
