Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
