I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
