I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
