I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
