I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We have started to decorate penises.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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