i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
