Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
