HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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