Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We left an ass print on the piano.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
