there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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