Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
