after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
How's work?
Spinning.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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