operation harelip BJ is a go
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
