Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I believe in your delicious
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
