at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize