have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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