I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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