tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
