Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
