i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
