Im at strip club and am horny
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm bleeding and have questions
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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