My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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