i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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