your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
