I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
