absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
