She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She even gives head with a lisp.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
