Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
