dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
