I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
