just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
