I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
