I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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