Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
