i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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