My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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