Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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