you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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