I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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