areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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