Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
