Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize