He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
