Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
