I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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