I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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