I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize