I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
